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  • Writer's pictureCodec.Red

Dear Santa

On a lonely snowy day of December 18th, A young woman from Detroit chills alone in her living room. It is decorated with cute Christmas designs like the small white tree in the corner, stockings & thongs hanging on the mantle, fluttering flames on 7 small candles and silver glitter littered everywhere.

She is dressed in marvelous holiday lingerie while sipping out of a elegant wine glass.

After taking 3 sips, she puts the cup down and picks up the pen on her dining room table.

Her bodacious breasts bend the fabric of her gown as she leans over and presses the pen against a yellow sheet.

Dear Santa,

Am I too naughty for you to visit me this Xmas? The thought of me being on your bad girl list gives me chills all down my spine.

I’ve done some nice shit this year though!-Oh, excuse me. I won't swear again…

So… I gave out candy & chips for the kids on Halloween. And-Aw snaps, you are Santa, you don't celebrate that holiday. Excuse me.

Well, I forsure went to an Easter weekend trash pick up event. We cleaned up different neighborhoods and preached to the kids about the environment.

Every week I bring my neighbor’s mail upstairs for her, because she is too old to travel on those stairs everyday.

In May, I sent a get well card to my grandpa. Handwritten too!

Then, I did a volunteer bikini car wash where we cleaned off people’s whips for no charge. You should have came, I would have soaked your sleigh.

Even though they were scary & creepy, some bums got change from me a couple times this year.

I threw my roommate a stripper party, she loves big booties.

Im gonna get my best friend a sex toy as a xmas gift too.

Oh yea, even though I am single now, my boyfriend got his nut swallowed for his birthday.

Well maybe that qualifies as naughty but you get the point.

You need to punish girls like me. It's going to feel nice for you.

I'm not evil but I can't claim to be a good girl.

To be honest. Mr Claus, I’ve had a crush on you since I was a little girl.

Hearing tales about how you fly through the sky, stopping at millions of houses to drop packages for families.

Commanding your own army of elves in a great big factory.

You are the most different man on Earth, you don't even live close to anyone up there in the North Pole. Don't you get lonely?

Schools, friends, relatives, and all praised your existence and importance to the holidays.

You are a legend and it would be the greatest gift if you could come chill with me, Christmas night, after your deliveries.

Just park your sleigh in my garage, I’ll leave it open.

Soon as I hear my side door creek, you will get greeted with a nice sweet hug from your secret admirer.

I’ll make you a nice tall glass of milk and bake you some cookies.

Have the fireplace going so you can warm up, after I take off your coat.

I bet you wear nothing but a sweaty beater under it.

Some jazzy jingles will be playing as you relax. Then I’ll sit on your lap and tell you exactly how I want it.

As I try to cuddle up on you to whisper in your ear, I bet your beard tickles me, forcing out giggles.

I wonder if it is true. They call you the wonderworker. Can you perform a miracle on me?

I bet the miracle is that you have great stamina and moves even though everyone thinks you are fat. Your stout stature is sexy to me.

I can't wait to squeeze on your thick, manly body parts.

It makes me hot, thinking about your crimson jumpsuit, emblazoned with fine fur striped in snow white as they are tucked in your leather black timbs.

If your big iron clad belt buckle with your belly bulging over is a challenge to undue, it's going to ratchet up the suspense as I struggle to remove your pants.

Oh I want you to rub my stockings as I suck your candy cane. You can even smoke some decorated tree until I'm done. I hope you appreciate when I swallow down all your eggnog.

Will you whip me like a reindeer while I ride? Will you do lines of snow with me until our noses turn red like Rudolph’s?

Its okay if you don't want to sniff the frosted flakes, I know you have a pure spirit Nicholas.

But instead of trying to fit down my chimney, you can force yourself up my shoot.

Stuff me like a stocking big Nick.

I want to hear you call me your ‘ho ho ho’ so badly.

As we walk to the bedroom, we are going to pass by the mistletoe. Picture us locking lips as I present myself as a gift to you.

Unwrap me and experience the best holiday ever.

Sincerely All Yours,


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